


A Nether Return

by Sharo



Series: Return of a Hermit [1]
Category: Hermitcraft
Genre: 1.16 update, Angst, Angst and Fluff, Dubious minecraft physics, Exhaustion, Forgiveness, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Loathing, Sickfic, Swearing, Whumptober, and it never goes well for him, and the only ones who didn't realize it are both of the X's, banned Evil X, because Hermits, breaking into the Hermitcraft server as he always does, derps, mention of vomiting, overuse of "stupid", season seven, self-ban, tags and warnings to update with chapters, the Hermits adopted Evil X long ago, world glitches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:01:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26889304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharo/pseuds/Sharo
Summary: He's finally made it back. But the world doesn't look anything like the one he left...
Series: Return of a Hermit [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1983415
Comments: 83
Kudos: 204





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to YasmintheSpiritSinger for helping me out with this one when I got stuck.  
> Chapters updated as I finish refining them.

Something was wrong. Terribly, horribly _wrong_.

The world was glitching and winking out around him, flashes of colors and strange biomes appearing and disappearing in and around and _through_ him.

_I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have forced my way in. Fuck, that_ **_hurt_**.

His chest compressed and abruptly decompressed as something spawned right through him and then disappeared.

_This isn't the End, or worldspawn. What in the unholy Void is going on here._

He grunted, or thought he did, as the world disappeared again. 

_This should have been the right world, I couldn't be that far off. How could the Admin let something like this happen?_

The sky around him flickered in wild colors, blue to grey to crimson red.

_Is this_ **my** _fault?_

The world reloaded and gravity kicked back in, and he didn't have a breath in his lungs to scream as he fell. Netherrack wasn't the hardest material in the world, but it was still unforgiving without protective armour and enchants. He crumpled and rolled on the landing, barely keeping the nearby lava lake in mind.

He ended up pressed against a bare netherrack wall, laying still and waiting for the world to stop spinning around him. Everything hurt, and he fought down the inane urge to throw up, even though he had yet to eat anything. The world was still settling, air pressures shifting and spreading out from what he hoped was the spawn area.

He shivered as the heat settled around him, warm and stifling after so long in the endless void. The feel of static still rang in his ears, pressing in as the world finally settled.

He pushed himself up, turning to rest his back along the cliff face, looking out into the netherwaste around him. _Great, this place again_. He reached for the side of his helmet, flicking the little slider with a practiced motion. Cooler air swirled around his face, drying the sweat already running from his temples. A quick look around showed no evidence of anyone having been here before. No builds, no random paths, not even a portal in sight.

He checked his coordinates, climbing unsteadily to his feet. _Of course I would be a thousand blocks out. Freakin figures._

He shivered again, feeling vaguely nauseous in the growing warmth now. A check of his inventory confirmed he had nothing on him. Not that he had expected anything less, spawning in for the first time.

It would be a long walk back to what he hoped would be some semblance of civilization. And then he could steal what he needed and go off on his own again. Or confront the admin, but maybe he'd put that off for a bit.

He started walking, climbing the netherrack as he went, watching for paths and gaps in the dangerous terrain.

It wasn't until he was skirting the second lava lake that he noticed what else was wrong.

Stunned, he walked back towards the lava. He watched it pop, throwing up sparks as it hit the netherrack and netherquartz beside it. But there was no hiss, no burbling noise of the lava lake. He looked further out, finally searching for the zombie pigmen that usually wandered the area. 

He was alone, and had been since he had started walking. No pigmen, no far-off ghast cries, not even the gurgle or vwoop of the rare enderman.

"Well that's not creepy at all." His voice sounded funny inside the helmet, buzzing and almost echoing between his ears.

He started walking again, still heading for 0,0 and keeping a watchful eye out for portals or signs of player activity. A cliff rose in his path and he swung to the left, looking for a way around it.

And froze at the sight of teal trees rising from a blue floor, strange vegetation and mushrooms carpeting the ground.

He sat down where he was, and pulled out the old dusty communicator. He was pretty sure he was on the right world, though it currently read 'offline'. _Wait, am I offline, or is the world?_ There was nothing in the world chat since he'd logged in, which was also unusual for the usually chatty residents. _Unless they saw me log in and went silent?_ But even that didn't make sense, because there was always at least one or two that would give him a hard time about coming back. _Not that I expected a warm welcome or anything._ He pushed down the dumb feeling that brought butterflies to his stomach, shaking his head to get rid of memories of smiles from the last world.

He glanced again at the strange forest. _Was this handmade? Or did they add mods to the world?_

Nothing and nobody stopped by to offer up any easy answers. Guess he was going to have to check it out.

It wasn't especially easy to get there, he had to punch out several blocks of netherrack in his way, cursing at first when he realized that they were popping instead of dropping into his inventory. _How am I supposed to make a pickaxe in the nether?_ He glanced back towards the strange...trees? mushrooms? Would they drop wood, or something else?

One way to find out. He remembered this part, punching the new trunk until a block dropped. _Warped stem_ his helmet read. It crafted easily enough, the veined wood turning into teal planks, and then a crafting bench. He harvested the rest of the tree, turning it into a wooden sword and pickaxe and storing the rest of the stem as planks in his inventory. This biome too was eerily empty, no mobs or sounds in the area. He explored just to the edge of the biome, briefly amazed at the changing color of the fog at the edge. 

_What did they do to get this kind of effect?_ He couldn’t remember the Hermits using mods before in their worlds, but this was kinda cool. _Too bad this didn’t exist years ago, would have made being stuck in the nether a lot more fun._

He started walking again, making his way towards 0,0 and keeping an eye out for the new stuff, and idly wondering where all of the mobs were.

He lost track of how long he'd been walking. Days at least, but that could just be the lack of anything like a day cycle in the nether. The wooden pickaxe was a lousy tool but it was the best he had until he could manage to find his way back to the overworld. He had already stopped twice, to farm the strange new pig-like creatures that had finally spawned. He took one hit from a grown one and quickly decided it was safer to draw them into a trap then attack them head-on. He’d lose more time than he wanted if he died and respawned back where he’d started. Now the pork was keeping his health up, but his stomach soured from eating it raw too many times.

He dug himself a small cave the next time he hit lava, sealing up the netherrack around him and using the molten liquid as a light source. Belatedly, he realized that he could have harvested some of the glowstone he'd passed about a hundred blocks back. He'd been too caught up in the thought of torches to think of the craftable blocks.

The nether was still oddly silent around him, even when he had briefly removed his helmet to make sure it wasn't just an input issue. Instead it just added another layer to the feeling of _wrongness_ around him. His communicator still couldn't send a message, and he was starting to wonder if he'd even entered the right world.

_Just my luck again. Wouldn't be surprised if they've already moved on, and left me behind on a glitched world._ The admin had done that before, though at least the world was still whole, and the portal to their new one was still accessible. Even if he'd had help getting through it…

He tapped his pick idly against the wall of netherrack, watching the resources fall and land on the ground in a growing pile. He should sleep and get back to walking soon, there were still several hundred blocks to cover before he reached anything like a possible hub.

He definitely knew when he’d reached it.

He stared at the sight before him, pausing to take in the somehow familiar sights. Colorful blocks of all sorts hung from the nether ceiling or stretched out across the lava ocean in the usual starts of fantastic builds and protective tunnels. No doubt about it, the stupid Hermits were here somewhere It didn't matter that he couldn't recognize half of the blocks; the builds were so ostentatious they practically screamed _a Hermit built me_.

Another time he would have been tempted to climb down and start tearing things apart, harvesting blocks he liked and tossing others into the lava.

He rubbed his chest, tucking the wooden pickaxe into his inventory as he walked forward. The ground opened up into a little netherrack staircase, and a glassed-in room beneath where he had been standing. A stupidly large portal filled most of the room, with more obsidian lining the wall on the opposite axis. He shook his head even as he stepped into the portal. _Only a Hermit, jeez._

He hadn't seen any signs posted, but oftentimes he knew they didn't bother. He stepped to the corner of the wide portal, leaning against the frame as he waited for the teleport. The swirl felt even rougher than usual, until the bottom dropped out of his stomach as the nausea kicked in and he held his breath.

And then the pain began.


	2. Chapter 2

Zedaph tilted his head, staring at the newly lit portal. A hard shiver went down his spine at the chilling sounds coming from it. The communicator was in his hands before he had even thought it through.

<Zedaph>: Tango, can you come to my base? My nether portal is doing something really weird.

<Tango>: Wasn’t that your intent? 

<Tango>: Be there in a couple

<Impulse>: I’ll join you in case you need more help with bedrock

Zedaph shivered again, debating with himself if he should step through the screaming portal and see what was on the other side. Yes, he wanted a unique, super cool portal this season, but this was definitely  _ not _ what he had intended. And it was super-creeping him out.

<Zedaph>: Anyone in the nether right now?

He read through the mostly negative responses while he waited for Tango. It seemed the initial nether rush was over, most of the Hermits already back working on their own bases now. And the couple that were, were thousands of blocks away mining for the new ancient debris.

Zedaph shrugged, stowing his comm and shrugging. He stepped into the portal as he heard the iron door at the front of the mountain open.

“Hey, Zed- what is  _ that _ ?” 

Zedaph windmilled his arms as he stumbled back from the portal, a flickering figure fading in and out where he had been standing. He landed on his rump, frozen in place until Tango’s hand was on his shoulder

Tango’s voice was barely a whisper beside him. “What did you  _ do _ , Zed?”

He shook his head, waiting for the flicker to reappear. “I- I lit the, the portal. Nothin’ else.”

“No contraptions, no weird redstone?” He shook Zedaph’s shoulder, making the man look at him. “No fancy-unfancy way you lit it?”

Zedaph was quietly freaking out. “No! I just.. I mean, I have plans for something, but on the nether side! I’ve laid the obsidian, but I didn’t build anything else yet!”

The portal flickered again as the iron door opened, Impulse rushing inside. “Who is scre-what in the world is  _ that _ ?”

Zedaph reached forward, brushing his arm through the portal, but the figure was gone again. “I- I think it’s a person?” His voice was quietly horrified even as Tango snatched his arm back.

Impulse was with them a moment later, pickaxe in hand and breaking the obsidian frame. The sound of shattering glass made them all jump when the portal broke.

“Okay guys, I am genuinely freaked out.” Impulse placed the obsidian back, staring at the stone wall behind it. “Do we.. do we call X for this?”

Tango squeezed Zedaphs shoulder, reaching out to pull Impulse back from the unlit portal. “How about we see if it happens again. I’d rather not bother him if it’s just our imagination.”

Zedaph snorted, flint and steel already back in his hand. “Yeah, sure. Three-way hallucination. No big.”

Impulse and Tango exchanged a look. “Any chance it could have been a glitched ghast?” Impulse was hopeful, but it was a long shot.

Zedaph giggled though. “Well, if it created the portal on the other side,  _ that _ one would be big enough.” He grinned nervously, and struck the obsidian. “Here we go?”

The portal lit with its usual fanfare, but this time with only the usual burble and wail of a nether portal.

He tumbled out of the accursed portal, smacking the face of his visor directly into the netherrack behind it, reeling back and landing on his ass on more of the unforgiving surface.

_ Void _ , he hated this world already. Stupid Hermits, and their stupid worlds, and whatever stupid thing they'd done to the stupid nether. His head hurt. His stupid chest hurt. Why didn't anyone else notice. He lowered his helmet into his hands, curling his knees up and ignoring the stupid pain in his butt. Maybe he could just sit here until someone found him and then…

Right. Because who would care. They'd just tell his stupid clone and get him banned again. Though if this was what he had to deal with, maybe- no, no. He didn't want to go back to the endless void. 

Fuck. Try another portal, and risk getting trapped again? He shivered, the heat in the air feeling like it was leeching it right out of his armour.

If he was gonna get stuck again, he may as well do it here, it would save him another hike, and at least he'd had glimpses of a decent cave on the other side. If he made it.

He pushed himself up, ignoring the queasiness in his stomach and pounding in his head. A deep breath set him to coughing, but he stepped back into the portal anyway.

Purple eyes under messy blonde bangs phased through him in the moment before the teleport.

_ No helmet? And when did Xisuma dye his hair? Or- _

He ran helmet-first into another wall, barely feeling it this time as he struggled to keep his feet. The stone wall was cool beside him, seeping through his gloves as he stumbled away from the portal, searching for somewhere to hide, to sleep off the feeling of nausea and weakness that he would entirely blame on the portal if anyone asked. Not that anyone was asking. His foot hit a stair and then open air, his fingers losing purchase on the smooth stone as he fell forward, tumbling into some abandoned corner full of dust and hay bales. He groaned thickly and curled up where he lay, absolutely done already with this world.

Zedaph blinked and stepped out of the portal, the afterimage of red armour stuck in his mind. He grabbed at Impulse's arm as he stepped out behind him.

"Have we heard from X? I think I just saw him! Or at least his red armour. How did he get stuck?"

Tango put his hands on Zedaph's shoulders, dragging him back from the portal. "Whoa, hold on there! I saw X this morning, he was refilling his shops in the cowmercial district. And your portal wasn’t hooked up yet, so he would have come from my base or Impulse’s if he needed to visit.”

Impulse waved his comm at them. “Or you could read chat, since he’s chatting with Cub about beds and tnt mining for debris. Pretty safe to say he’s fine.”

“Who else could it have been? Or am I just seeing negative images from something? Maybe-”

“Maybe you were trying too hard and imagined it, Zed.” Tango was checking out the giant portal, trying to poke at the armour stands hidden in the frame. “Is this your new contraption?”

“Well, it was  _ supposed _ to be.” He pouted, the surprise lost now. “I’d still like to know how I made it scream, though. That was absolutely not in the plan.”

“Okay, there’s nothing on this side. Let’s check your cave again and see if we find anything. Otherwise we can chalk it up to just a glitch and let X add it to his weekly checkup.” Impulse’s calmness helped settle them and they crowded back into the portal.

Nothing out of the ordinary greeted them on the other side. Zedaph accepted the ribbing his friends gave him over the giant portal leading to nothing special, but they would see his grand plan soon enough. Tango promised to pass along the strange glitch to Xisuma, fairly convinced that it was just a ghast caught in the smaller overworld portal.


	3. Chapter 3

Everything hurt, like he'd fallen down a ravine and managed to hit every stone and outcropping on the way. He most definitely did not want to open his eyes, just in case he was still laying where he'd fallen. He didn't hear anything around him. No mobs, no flowing water or lava, not even wind whistling through.. wherever he was.

He tried for a sigh, immediately choking on a rough cough, his lungs protesting the deep movement. He rolled to his side, dimly noting there was something soft below him. Several stronger coughs knocked his head against the inside of the visor, and he groaned at the surging headache.

Of course he'd get sick. Nether heat after so long in the Void, and then getting stuck in that stupid portal. Screw this stupid world, why did he even think it was a good idea to come back. He curled up, trying to relieve the pressure on his head from the helmet.

He was tired. Tired and sore and he felt like crap, and he  _ hated _ being sick. Being sick meant hiding away somewhere and risking…

Oh, who was he kidding. He pushed himself up, ignoring the pile of hay he had fallen asleep in and stumbling forward towards the lighted area. A ring of chests caught his attention as a good place to start pillaging from. The cave was still eerily silent as he rummaged, grabbing a couple of apples, a loaf of bread, a couple of randomly colored wool for blankets, and a half-used iron shovel.

He squinted in the rising light, and made his way towards the iron door off to the side. The room spun a bit, but he was determined to get outside and go dig out a dirt hut somewhere to hole up in for a while.

If the floor would just cooperate and stop moving. He swallowed hard against the urge to throw up, the rocking motion bringing back that awful feeling of vertigo from the portal. A rock must have gotten in his way and his ankle twisted, spilling him to the ground. He clenched his jaw, making it back up to his knees before noticing someone had entered through his soon-to-be-exit. The red-eyed Hermit just stared at him, hair glowing gold in the backlit sunlight.

Something behind him grabbed his arm, and he jerked away, overbalancing and falling over again. Shit, he still felt like he was going to throw up. Who the hell puts a moving floor in their base, anyway. But Tango already had his communicator out, typing away while giving him an odd look.

He closed his eyes, forgetting about his plans to go hide somewhere. He'd be banned again in a moment anyway. 

If the Hermits were just gonna tattle on him without speaking to him, then what was the point of running?

Zedaph was startled out of his latest idea for a contraption by the sounds of someone stumbling through his cave, dragging footsteps reminding him of a zombie's stagger. He hit his head on the low ceiling in the corner he'd been working on, rubbing it after a low exclamation.

"Hello? Anyone in here?" 

He laughed in the answering silence. "Sure, Zed. 'Cause a zombie is gonna be nice enough to answer you. Like, 'grr, aurgh'." He stored his tools and equipped a sword, searching the room around him for green as he turned.

He wasn't expecting Xisuma to be going through his chests, back turned to him.

"X? Something I can help you with?"

The admin didn't turn, acting like he hadn't heard him. 

"Uh, 'Zuma?" he frowned at the shuffle of boots, taking in the way the man stood, the arm clenched around his stomach as if he didn't feel well. Or was injured. "Are you okay, man?"

Zedaph threaded his way over, but the red armour was already moving unsteadily towards the front door. "X! Hold up.." 

He broke into a run when he fell over nothing, crumpling to the ground like a broken ragdoll. Zedaph rounded the chests, stopping short when he realized what had seemed off.

Instead of the cute gills on the sides of the red helmet, the sides and front were a plain, dark grey, and styled like his older, green helmet. He grabbed at the man's shoulder to help him up, recognition hitting him like an anvil as the front door opened.

"Evil X? Are y-"

The arm jerked away and Zedaph stumbled back, Evil X throwing himself to the side, out of his grasp. And went still, not moving again.

Zedaph froze, meeting Tango's stunned look.

"Um, help?"

Tango had his communicator already in hand, typing out a message into chat.

"Sent a message to X. Where did he come from?" Tango asked, side-eyeing the limp figure. "And what's wrong with him?"

Zedaph shook the shoulder nearest him gingerly, as if expecting a blow. "I'm not sure? On either, really." Evil X didn't move, either playing 'possum or actually out of it. "I heard him rummaging through my chests, he never responded to me when I called out to him." He shrugged at Tango, concern rising the longer they waited.

"He say anything to you?" Tango didn't seem very keen on moving closer. "Like, talking about taking over the server?"

Zedaph scoffed. "Hey! He was a good guy last time we saw him!" He smiled at the memory. "Wormman made him his sidekick, remember?"

"Yeah," Tango wasn't as enthused. "But we haven't seen him in a long time."

Zedaph scooted around to try and look inside the dark visor. The dark tinting wasn't quite opaque, but he could just barely make out the closed eyes inside. "I don't think he's awake, Tango."

"Or he's ignoring us."

"Be nice." Zedaph tried shaking Evil X's shoulder again, but he was more limp than before. He slid his hand down, reaching to check a pulse when the front door opened again.

"Tango, what kind of mess- oh, dear me."

The skin below his hands was cold and clammy, making him wish he had his own pair of gloves. Tango was saying something about doppelgangers and disappearances, but Zedaph froze at Xisuma's answer.

"I forgot he was banned."

He ducked his head, remembering self-conscious laughter and encouraging antics with his friend. 

"How do you  _ forget _ about banning someone." he barely recognized his own voice, low and upset.

Xisuma didn't answer him, and when he turned to look there was an open admin panel in front of him.

"What are you doing?" Zedaph jumped up, trying to wave his hands through the holographic display. "You can't ban him again, he just got here!"

He couldn't see X's face through the new helmet design, but the red shoulders jerked back and down in surprise.

"I wasn't- I was checking his stats, and-" his voice quieted, apologetic. "and how long he'd been here. He's not on the whitelist."

Zedaph huffed, turning back to the still figure. "Fine, you do whatever,  _ I'll _ take care of him then." He slid an arm under Evil X's shoulders, pulling him up against his chest. "He can stay here until you figure it out." Tango was beside him a moment later, helping him lift the dead weight. Zedaph bundled him up into a bridal carry, Tango steadying him as he shuffled over towards the bed.

Tango stepped away for a moment, tossing down a second bed before helping him lay Evil X into it. "So he doesn't get kicked off in the morning." 

"Yeah, that probably wouldn't be very welcome." Zedaph busied himself with gathering blankets to heap on the bed, and crafting up a small chest to fill with bottles of water and fruit. Tango sat nearby, watching him work.

"What do you think happened?" 

Zedaph sat on the edge of the bed, smoothing and rumpling the blanket over and over. "I think he's the one we saw in the portal. Do you think he got caught in the nether during the reset?"

Tango sighed, resting his chin on his hand. "Possible. But we sent plenty of messages about it beforehand so no one would get stuck."

"The reset was almost a week ago. How long do you think he was.."

The front door slammed open and shut, startling them both into looking over at the empty foyer.

Zedaph curled his knees up onto the bed, careful not to kick the sleeper. "Why would Zuma ban him? I thought they were friends again."

"No idea." But Tango looked uncomfortable thinking about it. "They've always had an odd dynamic, but it must have been something serious for X to pull out the ban-hammer. I hate to say it, but me or Impulse should probably stick around with you for a while."

He waved at the empty foyer. "Doesn't look like  _ he's _ too concerned about it." Zedaph couldn't quite contain a pout. "I just don't understand it. Isn't Evil X just as much of a Hermit as we are? And why wouldn't X tell us if he'd banned him?"

Tango groaned. "Those are better questions for X, you know. The last I'd heard of him around was during Tag on the last world. He's, not exactly the friendliest of people."

"Hah! Goes to show you don't know everything." Zed scoffed, punching him lightly. "We fought great evils and did much shenanigans together. He's a fantastic friend."

"You mean  _ Wormman _ was a great friend?" Tango grinned as he teased. 

"Pah, you're nitpicking." His smiled faded a little. "Mostly I think he was just lonely. I tried to get him out more; we'd visit Stress and Jev and started a couple a funny pranks here and there." He met Tango's gaze with a little frown. "I didn't even realize he was gone, or that I missed him."

Tango came over and wrapped him into a hug. "Then tell him that when he wakes up. I'm sure he'll be happy to start out with a friend." He couldn't resist one more jab. "Though you may have to finally confess to being Wormman."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Citizen."


	4. Chapter 4

He woke up with a pounding headache and sore all over. Everything felt fuzzy and just one block to the left.

He dialed down the visor light levels before even opening his eyes, pushing a blanket away and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The chest beside him held two bottles of water and he sucked them down greedily, thirsty as soon as he'd seen them. The food he left alone, he'd had enough of rotten meat for a while.

When had he been eating rotten meat?

Whatever, it didn't really matter anyway, stars knew he'd had worse. He didn't recognize the cave he'd fallen asleep in, but that wasn't exactly new, either. He could make out a nearby pond in the dim light and swallowed, his throat feeling dry and sore even after the water he'd just had.

Empty bottles in his inventory, he pushed off the bed and weaved unsteadily towards the water. Something niggled at the back of his mind, but skittered away when he tried to focus on it. Dropping to his knees at the edge of the pond, he dipped his first bottle in, filling and drinking it down again twice more before capping them off again.

His bed seemed so far away now. Why hadn't he brought it with him? Actually, why had he brought one caving?

His head hurt again and he was starting to shiver. No mob noises in the area, so it's not like he  _ couldn't _ go back to sleep. At least until everything stopped aching so much.

It took way too much effort, but he finally crawled back into the bed, feeling entirely drained with just that short trip. He reached over to set the refilled water bottle onto the little table, feeling his muscles sloshing like the liquid inside. Barely settled, he let himself flop back onto the mattress, convinced that he never wanted to move again. 

But the room was chilly, and the blankets were half-crumpled beneath him.

He groaned to himself, just wanting to sleep until nothing hurt. Instead he propped himself up, grabbing a weak fistful of blankets, tugging them until he could feel the cooler mattress beneath him. Another tug brought the end up where he could tuck his feet beneath it. Yet another brought the top up to his shoulders, almost a comforting weight. Tears pricked at his eyes, wishing for just a moment that someone else would lift the blanket for him and tuck him in.

The moment of weakness hit him harder than he wanted to admit. Than he ever  _ would _ admit, to anyone. A harder yank brought the blanket into a better position and he curled up beneath it, knocking his shoulder against his helmet. He coughed wetly, already starting to sweat from his struggles with the stupid blanket. Screw it, if he was gonna go this far, may as well go all the way. He tucked the blanket under his chin and grabbed at the helmet latches, frustrated when he jammed a finger trying to get them open. He tipped the helmet off his head, letting it fall to the floor beside the bed, and pulled the blanket over his head, smashing his face into the thin pillow.

And if his cheeks were wet and his nose ran into the blanket, there was no one around to judge him. Or care.

Zedaph woke up at the clatter of something hitting the stone floor with a loud clatter. Impulse muttered and rolled over to face the wall, barely awake before he was asleep again. He looked over to the other bed, and the dark shape rolling across the floor.

He tossed off the covers, sliding his feet into the fuzzy pink slippers on the good side of his bed. The odd object turned out to be a discarded helmet, still warm to the touch.

"Evil X?" he called quietly, trying not to wake Impulse again, but hopeful that he'd still be awake. "Is everything okay?"

He shuffled his feet, trying to make a little bit of noise so not to surprise him, but there was no reaction from the pile of blankets. Which were shivering slightly, one of them bunched up around where his feet had been the last time he checked. "Evil X? It's Zedaph, are you okay?"

Zedaph set the red and grey helmet on top of the chest, a funny feeling behind his ribs. He reached out and placed a hand on the blanket, as gently as he could.

He wasn't expecting it to start crying.

"Hey, now. Do you wanna tell me what's wrong?" He wasn't sure where it was safe to sit, what with someone curled up and hiding under the blankets. Zedaph looked around for an edge to lift, just to get a little peek.

Except Evil X hadn't answered him yet. Did he want any help? But he hadn't thrown his hand off, hadn't yelled for him to go away..

He also hadn't asked him to stay. 

The coughing fit decided it for him. An intake of breath sent the blankets shaking, gasping wheezes and breaths sounding just short of painful. Zed pulled back the blanket, finding a messy sprawl of tangled white hair covering the head below it. Had he ever  _ seen _ Evil X with his helmet off? If X had trouble with breathing, did he have the same problem?

He found a clear space to sit and hauled Evil X against him, feeling the heat of his skin and the shivers as EX cleared his lungs. He offered a smile to Impulse, awake and holding out clean wool to them.

"Exy? Take a breath, man. It's prolly just a cold."

Gloved fingers gripped the wool to his face, a bit back groan when he finally caught his breath back. Zedaph smoothed long white strands away from his face, leaning over to check on him.

"Why 'm I 'ere." Grey eyes were bloodshot and only half open, his voice almost too quiet for the silence of the large cave.

Impulse offered him another piece of wool, taking the soiled one as Zedaph answered.

"I think you got stuck in my portal, sorry about that. If it made you si-"

But Evil X didn't seem to be listening, tensing up and repeating himself, louder this time. "Why 'm I here? What'd you want?"

"You're sick," Impulse told him, resting his hands on his lap. "Figured we shouldn't move you too-"

"I can't hear you." It was practically a pout, and Zedaph started to grin before he realized.

But Impulse was nodding, so maybe it wasn't just a joke.

"Really? Not at all?"

Evil X didn't move his head, or even acknowledge that he'd spoken. He was still shivering even though the warmth pouring off of him was starting to make Zedaph sweat. Impulse shared a glance with Zedaph before looking back to Evil X.

"Any chance you can lip-read?" Impulse frowned, catching the second wool before it dropped to the floor. "Evil- dangit." He held the back of his hand against Evil X's forehead for a long moment. "He's fallen asleep, or passed out, I'm not quite sure. But his fever is higher."

Impulse wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but watching Zedaph mother-hen Evil Xisuma through the night was frankly adorable. The white-haired man was definitely out of it, even the times he was awake from thrashing nightmares he could barely communicate in full sentences, and often made no sense at all before falling asleep again. They’d offered him his helmet several times, but he didn’t seem to want it the way X did, and after the second round of vomiting he was rather glad that they didn’t need to wash that out as well. Messages to their admin went unanswered, so they were trusting that there wasn’t an actual issue where the helmet was required.

He met StressMonster at the door when she arrived, a shulker box and a cake pressed into his hands before he could even greet her property.

“Morning, luv! Now where’s our patient? I brought healthy snacks for ‘em, and the cake is for you boys.” Her smile was bright as she bounced towards the back, already spotting Zedaph. “‘Ello, Zed-luv.”

Zedaph slid off of the expanded bed, tucking the blankets back before stepping forward into Stress’ hug. “Thanks for coming, Stress. We really appreciate it.”

“Is it really him? He’s finally made it here?”

Zedaph brushed hair out of his face, smiling softly. “Yeah, but he’s pretty sick for some reason. And uh, he may have gotten stuck in my nether portal?” his voice rose at the end, his hand moving to rub at the back of his neck. “Dunno how that happened, either.”

Stress patted his arm. “I’m sure it wasn’t on purpose. And knowing you, you’ve already apologized a dozen times.”

“Oh, he’s tried.” Impulse set the shulker box down, moving a little bit away to place the cake on an empty table. “Evil X also can’t hear anything.”

“Like, his ears are stuffed up from a cold, or he’s gone deaf?” Stress dropped another shulker, pink this time and started pulling potions from it. “What’d X have to say about it?”

Zedaph huffed, and Impulse jumped in to answer. “He’s...not answering our messages right now.” He held his hands out in a gesture of peace. “I’m sure he’s busy, and he did mention a possible world glitch that he was looking into. But for now, we just don’t know what’s wrong.”

Stress pocketed several potions and sat down gingerly on the bed, pulling back the blanket from where it was clutched in tight fingers. “Oh, hun.” She pressed the back of her fingers against the pale cheek, sighing at the clammy skin. “How long has he been like this?”

“A day since we found him, and he hasn’t been coherent since last night.” Zedaph sat cross-legged on the floor, watching her with his head propped on his fist. “Feverish and cold in turns, along with some pretty bad nightmares.”

Stress pulled Evil X forward against her shoulder, grabbing and arranging pillows behind him so she could prop him up into a half-seated position. She ran her knuckles across his sternum, and smiled as his eyes blinked open. “Hey, luv. Got a couple ‘a potions for you, ta help you feel better.”

Evil X blinked slowly at her, not moving. She watched his face, keeping her smile in place as he finally seemed to focus and recognize her.

“Stress? Why…” he frowned, wincing and working his jaw a tick. “I sound funny.”

She held out a pink potion, swirling the bottle gently. “You sound a little hoarse, but otherwise fine to me. Try this one first?” He didn’t reach for it, but also didn’t pull away when she lifted it to his lips. The regen brought a little color back to his face, highlighting the bruised look under his eyes. When he brought a hand up it was to rub his ear, making a face at whatever he felt there.

"Ev'ryth'ng sounds like static." 

Stress nodded and pulled his hand away from his ear, turning it over and pressing a health potion into it. "Sounds like you have a head cold, it should clear up with a little care. Drink that up now, there 'ya go."

He managed to take that one on his own, making a face at the taste before handing the bottle back.

"Why.. " 

She tilted her head, waiting patiently when he trailed off, his expressions changing through a range of emotions before finally settling on what she could only call 'petulant.'

"Why're you being nice to me?"

"Oh, darling." Stress giggled and sat back, pulling up the blanket to his shoulders and fluffing his pillow before kissing his forehead impishly. "It's always nice to let someone else take care of you when you're sick."

She wasn't sure how much of that he caught, but he closed his eyes on a stunned blush, which faded quickly as he seemed to fall asleep again. Zedaph giggled and pulled her into another hug when she stood.

"Thanks, Stress."

She squeezed him back. "Poor thing, he must be feeling awful if he's just moping about in bed." Stress tugged him towards the cake, waving at Impulse with her other. "Now come have some cake, it's baked fresh. And I'll make another when Evil X is feeling better."


	5. Chapter 5

He didn’t understand it. He thought he had dreamed StressMonster stopping by, figured it was just a fever craving that she was as sweet as he remembered, giving him potions and acting like he’d barely been gone. He had woken later, feeling the slight burn of the overworld air and finding his helmet sitting on the chest beside the bed. Which was on the other side of Tango, who was splayed out across the second bed pushed up to his, one leg hanging over the edge and an arm laying across his own chest. He wondered if Tango snored. 

It just... didn’t make any sense. Although, that could be due to apparently not being able to  _ hear _ any explanation they may have given him. Or maybe the void had addled his brain so much he was just as insane as them now.

Because Stress had returned, with the blue slime man and the cackling maniac, and a picnic lunch. And Zedaph had bundled him up in a thick wool blanket, and tugged him outside to join them all on the green grass in front of the mountain he had been sleeping inside.

He tugged the blanket closer around his shoulders, watching Iskall throw his head back with laughter, remembering the crazy sound of it and fighting down a smile. Not that anyone would see it with his helmet back on, but still. iJevin broke down a couple of melons and passed the sweet fruit around, grinning as he accepted one, before turning around and shoving a slice sideways into his face. The green rind made a ridiculous facsimile of a smile as he turned his head to show it to everyone.

The static in his ears crackled with his snort, and he ducked his head in case that had been out loud.

A hand tapped his knee and he looked back up to find Iskall watching him, a book and quill held out.

" _ ZIT says you can't read chat, so I thought this might help. Would you like me to look at your communicator? see if I can fix it?" _

He blinked at the page, swallowing around the panic and urge to throw the book back at him. A tiny quick glance at Iskall's open smile made him push it back down, consider the offer for what it was, and not a trap  _~~a trick to take it away, leave him with nothing again~~. _ He picked up the quill and wrote a sloppy 'thanks', and handed it back with his  ~~_ precious _ ~~ old comm.

Iskall and iJevin immediately put their heads together over it, turning the tiny piece of equipment over and over, pressing buttons and...probably something super technical and exciting, if their rapid-fire lip movements meant anything. And then the sparkly red dust and screwdrivers were out and he had to look away, not willing to watch as they tore apart what used to be his only lifeline to-

Stress scooted closer, bumping his shoulder before pulling back so he could see her face. She was the easiest to understand somehow, her easy expressions always matching her mouth when she spoke, slow enough for him to catch most of it.

"How are you feeling?"

_ Stupid. And stupidly glad that you dragged me out here for this. _ "Fine." His own voice was still the only thing he could hear, and he was tired of listening to himself.

"Wanna try another potion? I asked Joe to help me last night."

He narrowed his eyes at her, glad she couldn't see his distrustful frown, and didn't trust himself to say something out loud. He grabbed the discarded book from beside Iskall and scribbled out a...more polite response.

" _ Isn't he the one who combined a water breathing and a slowfalling and managed to suffocate while flying?" _

Her entire face lit up with her grin, shoulders shaking with laughter as she shared his remark with Zed.

He had done that. Made one of the Hermits laugh, even though he was pretty sure he remembered that right. Xisuma had complained about it at length, how long ago? 

His ear popped, this time sending a shooting pain down the side of his face towards his jaw. He closed his eyes and tried to swallow, the warm feeling replaced again by worry and the chill of not knowing what in the void was wrong with him. He'd never had this kind of problem before after joining the world.

_ You've never broken in after being  _ **_banned_ ** _ before. _

A potion bottle was placed in his hand. He didn't bother to check the contents, just brought it up to the helmet and knocked it back. It was spicy-sweet, warming him as it went down.

"Tha-nks." His voice cut out halfway through the word, his throat closing up around it. The sun faded as he pitched sideways, gravity all of a sudden deciding to change directions on him as his ears popped again, the constant static cutting out into absolute silence.

Tango drew his fingers through the sweat-slicked hair, pulling it back from the flushed face. "He's even warmer than earlier, I don’t think the potions are helping anymore. I think it's time we called X again."

Zedaph nodded with a pout. "I don't like it, but I think you're right. I just-"

He paused as their communicators went off, along with an extra 'priority' ding.

<xisumavoid>: i need everyone out of the nether please. we've picked up a minor bug and i need to reload it

Zedaph scrolled through as others checked in, smiling at Mumbo's comment that he didn't crash anything, it was just a bit of overflow in his farm that he had already taken care of.

Impulse joined them, taking a seat on the floor beside the bed. “Must be something serious for X to go full Admin on it.”

“Do you think this has to do with  _ him _ ?”

“I don’t see how,” Tango said slowly. “But then again, I’ve never seen someone trapped in a nether portal, either.” He kept his hands moving, practically petting as EX settled again. “Unless…”

He trailed off, the other two waiting for his thought on it. Their comms pinged away as friends checked in and continued chatting. Another priority message went out.

<xisumavoid>: no one enter the nether please. reloading now.

Evil X twisted on the bed, shivering violently before trying to curl up against the weight of the blankets. Tango caught a pillow before it could be thrown to the floor, shoving it into his lap before Evil X could hit his head on Tango's knee again. Zedaph scooted closer, letting him curl around his bulk, running a soothing hand over EX's back. Impulse waited with more blankets, watching for any sign that they needed to call someone else to help.

Something changed in the air, a heavy pressure for just a moment and then a soft pop, and Evil X whimpered, curling even tighter. His hands moved restlessly under the covers, trying to reach up towards his face. Tango shushed him quietly, frowning at the pained grimace Evil X made at the noise.

“Evil X?”

A low moan and the man twisted his head in the pillow as if trying to escape. Or smother himself. Tango adjusted it, letting the pillow wrap around Evil X’s head as he settled his head firmly into his lap.

He brought his voice down to a whisper, eyeing the other two. “I think his hearing is back.”

Zedaph nodded, and then nearly fell off the bed when Xisuma teleported into the room, looking around wildly.

“How is-”

He was shushed immediately by all three, his shoulders falling and posture drooping as he took in the sight of them clustered around the bed. Xisuma stood where he was, the grey-gold Admin aura fading back into his strider outfit.

Impulse tilted his head, keeping his voice barely above a whisper. “Did you fix it?”

“I- yes, I think so. I just didn’t- I don’t-” Zedaph hadn’t seen Xisuma this flustered in a long time. “I don’t know if it would fix  _ him _ .”

Tango nodded, head down and focused on his lap. “His fever broke, just in the last few minutes.” Red eyes flicked to Impulse. “We’ll need dry blankets soon.”’

Xisuma sank to the floor, helmet in his hands. “Oh, thank the void.” His whispered exclamation sounded relieved and exhausted. “I was afraid it would…” he trailed off, as if speaking the thought aloud would jinx it.

“What happened?”

Xisuma didn’t even lift his head. “He entered the world in the nether, during the update reset. His code got glitched, tied in with the--it doesn't matter, now. But I- I didn’t even notice…”

Impulse put a steady hand on Xisuma's shoulder. "Didn't notice he was back, or that there was a glitch in the nether?"

"Either. Both." Xisuma sounded defeated. " _ Fuck _ ." He didn't notice the raised eyebrows or stunned expressions at his curse. "I was so excited for the update, I, I should have looked harder, made  _ sure _ that it was safe. It's all-" he bit off whatever he was going to say, shaking his head in his hands. 

The painted helmet finally came up, looking at Zedaph. "When he wakes up, will you tell him I'm sorry? I'll- He probably won't want to see me."

Zedaph nodded slowly. "I mean, sure? But-"

Xisuma teleported away, not even bothering to stand up.

"Anyone else getting the vibe that maybe this wasn't an accident?" Tango's voice was still quiet, but verging on  _ pissed _ .

Impulse made a little noise in his throat, shifting blankets around to pull out his communicator. "Who's closer to X's base? Somebody needs to-"

"Etho." Zedaph rested a hand on Tango's knee, meeting his gaze even as he answered Impulse. "He'll get X to talk, and doesn't have any grudge against Evil X."

Tango unclenched his fingers from the side of the pillow, flexing them a few times before setting them against Evil X's forehead. "He's just warm now, not feverish. Let's get him resettled and get some sleep between us."

  
  


It was so nice to be comfortable again. He tucked his head further into the pillow, feeling the warm slide of a heavy blanket against his chin. A warm weight pressed against his back, softly snoring behind him. He didn't remember falling asleep, wondered briefly if Xisuma had found him wandering in the prismarine base again..

No, that wasn't right. He hadn't found that base yet. But the nether trees were almost that color-

Evil X frowned, and opened his eyes, finding himself staring at a stone wall. Since when did X build with stone? He usually went for something harder to come by, grindy blocks to show off his farms or fancy resources..

"Hey there. You awake this time?"

He glanced toward the sound, finding the brunette in the creeper shirt standing at the end of the bed. He remembered scamming him for an I-trade pass, bought with X's diamonds. Wait, that was a while ago--he’d been around lately. With Stress, and Zedaph, and a picnic?

"Impulse?" He tried to make it a question, but his voice cracked and went out halfway through.

But Impulse just smiled and knelt at the side of the bed, where Evil X could see him without straining.

"Careful there, Evil X. You've been sick for a while, how are you feeling?"

He stared at Impulse, feeling his own face frown. Where was his helmet? "Don't get sick. Why-" 

Something moved behind him and then an arm was thrown over his chest and a cold nose pressed into the back of his neck. Impulse, the bastard, giggled. Fucking  _ giggled _ at him.

"Sorry, Zed's a cuddler when he sleeps." Impulse tilted his head, a ..fond? look on his face. "You were having nightmares for a while, seemed to sleep better with someone beside you."

What in the void was he supposed to say to that? And how did he end up here? Cuddled up with.. with  _ Hermits _ ?

He closed his eyes, not sure how to deal with.. with whatever this was. "I must still be hallucinating." Fever dreams, brought on by the void, right? He’d finally gone insane, imagining himself being welcomed back...

A warm hand pressed against his forehead and he absolutely did  _ not _ whimper. Shivered, yes, but it was  _ warm _ , and felt  _ nice _ .

"No fever," Impulse pronounced. "I think you're good now."

He huffed. What does he know about fevers anyway? Or being trapped in the nether, or banned to-

Fuck.

He didn't want to ask, didn't want to open his eyes and see the look they'd give him when he asked. But his flinch had woken up the person behind him, yawning and calling his name sleepily.

"How soon until I'm banned again?" He wanted to smother himself in the blanket, never leave this bed again-

"Never."

Well fuck him, that's not something  _ he _ can promise.

"Right. Until I do something wrong again? And get- get-" he couldn't even  _ say _ it, already feeling the numb grip of the Void grabbing at him, trying to pull him-

Someone  _ was _ pulling him, but it was a warm arm pulling at his chest, grabbing at him and rucking the blanket under him to pull him back, and then Impulse was sitting on the bed in front of him and rubbing at his shoulder.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, calm down." It was stupid, he could barely hear them over the stupid noises his chest kept making, over the stupid panic he didn't have the heart to fight, or to fight them  _ off _ of him.

The voice next to his ear was serious, but he remembered it being so much lighter, playful. "You're not going to be banned again." His chest was tight, but something held him tighter. It was.. weird. 

And it was exhausting, trying not to remember  _ not _ being afraid of the Void. Of floating until he was certain that he was barely a consciousness of his own, with nothing to feel, or see, or hear.

He shivered again, but he had to get it out, had to make them  _ understand _ , before he was forced-

"I don't wanna go back there. I'll- I can leave, but please don't send me back. Please."

He was so tired. Would they let him sleep before kicking him out again? Was it too much to ask to just be warm and held for a little bit longer...

Zedaph pulled Impulse into the bed, feeling himself nearly vibrating with anger and not wanting to disturb Exy’s exhausted sleep. "Stay with him. Don't let anyone else  _ near _ him." Something simmered in his chest, and he wasn’t sure that he wanted to push that feeling away.

Impulse sat against the headboard, pulling another blanket over himself and Evil X. "Zedaph?"

It sounded like a plea and a warning. But it didn't matter right now. They had to keep Evil X safe. Safe from…

Zedaph met Impulse's eyes, not even sad when the other man looked away. "I'm gonna go have a talk with  _ Xisuma _ ."

He left before Impulse could call him back, before he lost his nerve or the impulse to punch something. Or  _ someone _ . Elytra and armour equipped, he ran for his portal, navigated the nether tunnels on autopilot and stepped out into the humid jungle with his anger still burning brightly. 

The towers gave him only a slight pause, until he spotted nametags within the nearby hexagonal build. A single rocket propelled him to the entrance, several blocks above the jungle floor. Etho was waiting like a husk in the shadows, stepping forward before he had taken more than a couple of steps.

"Where's Xisuma?"

He may have startled Etho, he certainly startled himself. He sounded so  _ angry _ , but why wouldn't he be?

"X is coding, we shouldn't interrupt-"

“Zed? Come on, man, this isn’t like you.” Tango must have followed him, must have been warned by Impulse that he was headed here. He couldn’t let that distract him.

" _ No _ , Etho." His finger hit the edge of the black vest, and then he was gripping it like a lifeline. "Do you  _ know _ what he did? Does he? He needs to answer questions, and I don't even know if I have the right ones to  _ ask _ !"

Etho's hands wrapped around his wrists, somehow knowing to just hold him still and not fight, not give him  _ someone _ to fight, to burn out his anger on-

He spotted X first, walking towards them with that stupid painted helmet and that stupid painted pout on it.

"What did you  _ do _ ?!”

"What-”

"Why was he banned? And  _ where _ did you ban him to, that he's so void-be-damned  _ terrified _ that you'll send him  _ back _ ?!”

If he had shot an arrow directly into Xisuma's chest, he didn't think the admin would have collapsed like that. Zedaph didn’t hear Tango calling his name, didn’t see Etho running after him, he was already moving towards X. Not sure what he’d do when he got there but-

Xisuma disappeared before he found out.

<Xisuma left the world>


	6. Chapter 6

Evil X blinked dumbly at the message in world chat. Beside him Impulse was already typing messages, or maybe replies, privately since they didn’t all show in the chat. 

_What happened?_

“Any ideas where X would go if he left HermitCraft?” 

Impulse was frowning at his comm when Evil X glanced over, shoulders tight with tension. “Dunno.” he answered softly. “Home? One of his other worlds? Why did he leave?”

Impulse glanced up at him, disbelief plain on his face. “Isn’t HermitCraft his home? Wait- what other worlds?” His eyes fell to the blankets, scanning like they were a book to be read. “No, he has mentioned another world before.. Some kind of acronym-”

Evil X snorted. “That’s the LPMT world. Doubt he’ll go there, it’s a multiplayer world. Unless he’s wanting to get mobbed with questions and fans.” He leaned back into the pillows, ignoring the chat to chew on the end of his quill. “Although, I think that world got deleted or something. I couldn’t..”

He saw Impulse look back at him, pretended he didn’t see and opened the notebook again. 

“Evil X?”

He grunted, not encouraging whatever question was coming his way.

“Did- do _you_ have another world to visit outside of HermitCraft?”

Jeez, why do Hermits have to be so damn smart. “Not anymore.” He wanted to close his eyes, pretend that he couldn’t see the look of shock and _pity_ on Impulse’s face, but that was too close, too close to what he _left_.

“Where did- how… goodness, Evil X, what- _where_ were you?”

Evil X sighed. “Where do you think? Endless Void is where the glitches get discarded, Impulse.” He pushed the notebook off of his lap, and curled to the side with the blanket over his head. 

He flinched at the warm hand on his back, but was more thankful that it didn’t pull away. 

Tango paced across the sandstone floor, keeping his eyes on the shifting pattern there instead of the small admin panel that Joe and Cub were working on. His communicator was clutched in his offhand, filled with Hermit's worried messages, Zedaph's confession, and…

And the message that Xisuma had banned himself.

He and Cub had already fixed that, re-added him to the whitelist and sent more than a dozen messages between them. But there were no answers being returned, no smiley faces in the chat or comments about being a derp and making a mistake. This wasn't Tango's forte, he could manipulate mobs well enough, he could read the coding and figure out spawn patterns and write NBT data. Cubfan knew world data, almost as well as X, but even he was stumped. It shouldn't have happened, shouldn't have been 'just a glitch' even if X was messing with world coding.

Joe shook his head and stepped away from the screen, catching Tango's attention. "I don't know what else to say, and I've nothing to make it poetic. The command feels deliberate, but I can't say why it feels that way."

Tango glared down at his communicator. He had wanted it to be an accident, wanted X to be the one telling them. He tried to put it off, one last question.

"Any chance you could track him? Find out where he is now?"

Both Joe and Cub shook their heads. "Not after he's left the world. Doesn't work that way." Cub answered him.

Joe placed a hand on his shoulder, already having noticed the deathgrip on the item he held. "What else do you know, Tango?"

Tango sighed, and sighed again. "This is gonna sound fucked up, and I don't even have half of the story." He tried to ignore Cub coming to his other side, but their silent support made it easier, somehow. "Evil X came back, during the nether reset."

"The one Sisumavoid worked on yesterday?" Joe asked.

"No, the first one, over a week ago." He shook his head, cutting off any other comments. "Glitched out on spawn due to it. And due to Xisuma apparently _banning_ him from the last world."

Even Cub looked shocked by that. “Banned? I don’t know that anyone’s ever been banned from Hermitcraft.”

But Joe nodded thoughtfully. “Quite a while ago, but we still had a meeting and a vote about it. And the person in question was included and okay with it, and left the world voluntarily before the ban was in place.” He tapped his fingers against his chest, obviously thinking through it. “Though that was a Hermit, who had been voted in to begin with. Even with Evil X’s history, I thought that he was on good terms with X the last I had run across him. He’s not much for crowds, but usually pleasant enough company.” He smiled fondly. “With a rather cute flair for dramatics, I will admit.”

Cub snorted. “That describes half of the Hermits, Joe. But still doesn’t tell us why X would ban him, especially if he said nothing about it beforehand or since?” He glanced back at Tango for answers.

“He says he doesn’t know why X banned him. Though he’s been sick since he arrived at Zed’s base a couple days ago.”

“The weirdness in his portal?”

Tango nodded. “He got stuck in it somehow, we thought it was just another quirk of one of Zed’s contraptions. But the reset seemed to have cleared something up and he’s been doing better.” His gaze dropped to the floor. “I was there when Zed accused X about the ban...of doing it on purpose, and _sending_ Evil X somewhere horrible.”

Cub looked confused, but Joe took a step back, fingers splayed now across his chest instead of tapping.

“He ran away.” Joe was pale, anxious now like he wasn’t before. “We have to find him. We _have_ to find him. He won’t- he won’t come back on his own.”

“Joe?”

“ _Think_ about it.” Joe hissed, communicator back out as he sent off a private message. “Think about the time and effort and energy X puts into our world. Think about how the man forgets to _sleep_ when he’s working on an update, or how much he constantly worries about the safety of us and the worlds we live in.” He shook his head at the comm, fingers trembling as he responded to someone. “It doesn’t matter if either one of the bans was accidental or not.”

Dark eyes met theirs. “Evil X was originally a clone, a mistake in the code. He never spawned in naturally, so he doesn’t have his own world. If he wasn’t whitelisted somewhere else, he would have been banned into the Void. The unending limbo between worlds. The blank nothingness that haunts our dreams that has _no escape_.

“X would never forgive himself.”

  
  


Impulse dragged him along to the Shopping District. Well, not so much dragged, as offered to show him around on his way to meet up with Cubfan and Tango, pointing out the shops and sharing some of the stories of the builds. They ran into Joe and Cleo outside of the totem shop, Impulse excusing himself to go talk to Cub and Joe, leaving Evil X standing in the doorway with the green eyed zombie.

“So you’re the one causing all of the stir.” Sharp eyes stared at him, and he had the urge to grab for a sword he didn’t have. 

She noticed that, too. “I don’t think we’ve been formally introduced, but I’ve heard a ton about you. I’m ZombieCleo. You can call me Cleo, just don’t call me ma’am.” She offered her hand like she expected him to shake it.

He did, because what else would he do? “Evil X.” he offered, giving her his prefered name. “Um, Joe’s mentioned you before.”

She nodded, glancing back at the group with their heads together. “Of course he has. So, what’d’ja do to X?”

“I didn’t do anything to Xisuma-butt.”

He wasn’t expecting her delighted grin. “He did it to himself? Well, that’s interesting.” Cleo leaned forward, prompting him to take a step back as she peered through his visor. What was she on about? “So Joe tells me that you got a first peek at the new nether when you got here. What’d you think of the new biomes?”

“Biomes?” He tried to recall his feverish trip through the area. “Is that all of the new stuff? ‘Cause I liked the trees, and the sky changing colors was kinda cool.”

She tilted her head at him. “Didn’t you do any exploring? Or no--you would have spawned in with no inventory, right? How far out from the spawn hub were you?”

Did...did she really _care_ about that? “I’ve spent years in the nether before, I know how to survive. Mostly I just dug through the netherrack to keep out of the way of mobs now that they don’t ignore me.” He sat on the steps beside her when she took a seat and motioned him down. “The trees came in handy for wood, I wasn’t expecting that. I thought I had the wrong world at first, or had hit a modded one instead.” That might have been too much information, now she was gonna ask _how_ he had gotten in, and why he had been gone-

“Did you see the lava striders? They’re absolutely _adorable_.” He stared at her, but she was laughing and trying to describe her first look at them. “X even updated his armour to match them, and the pout on his helmet just makes me want to pinch his cheeks every time. Did he tell you about mis-coding it on the first day of the update?”

“I haven’t seen him since I got here.” He turned away, looking out over the pond and the massive bookshop across from them. Let her think it was _his_ choice, not to see his derpy clone.

“Waitamin- you’re telling me that you were sick after spawning in, and X didn’t stop by to try and figure out what was wrong?” He wasn’t surprised that she didn’t believe him. Stupid admin was always their favorite anyway.

He shrugged, still not looking at her. “Dunno. Been staying with Zedaph, he’s pretty cool.”

Her hand was cool against his armour, light enough to shrug it off if he wanted to. “Are you and X fighting?”

“How should I know?” And wasn’t that the damned truth. Granted, he was usually the one to seek Xisuma out for some fun or pranks, but apparently he’d done so one too many times. Guess it wasn’t reciprocated. Two world-spans he’d spent living on the outskirts of the Hermits, finally being included in one of their games and even playing by the rules. Well, minus a little theft. And then he was out looking for Xisuma one day and the world went from grass and sunshine to starlit void and absolutely nothing.

He still didn’t know what he did.

“What you did for what?”

He planted his helmet on his fist, looking over at her sideways. “Everyone is acting like I belong here. Why didn’t your idiot admin tell anyone he’d banned me?”

Now _that_ look was surprising. He almost shivered at the dark look she turned on him, suddenly understanding Joe’s fascination with causing mischief for Cleo.

“He. Did. What?”

“Why do you seem surprised by that? It’s not like I hadn’t tried to destroy several worlds, and Hermits. I spent ages planting traps and killing Xisuma over and over again.” He waved his free hand at the sky. “Void, I even trapped him inside of another game once, trying to kill him outside of the world.”

Cleo just stared at him. “Grian does that to half of his friends on a weekly basis. Iskall and Mumbo have some kind of challenge-cult in the middle of the jungle that they’re roping other Hermits into. Doc started some kind of different cult with goats and spent a month hunting down and killing Bdubs and Keralis. Hell, _I_ hosted a death-game just to collect heads for my dioramas.” She let out a shaky laugh, like she wasn’t sure if it should be something else. “Did you- I thought that’s just how you guys were. Dorky brats to each other.”

“You guys really _are_ insane.”

She grabbed his arm and stood up, pulling him with her. “On this server, that is a _complement_. We wouldn’t work so well together otherwise.” Her grin was back, if not as wide as before. “Now come on, let’s go see if we can figure out who’s feelings got hurt first, and where your brother disappeared to.”

“Clone.”

Cleo rolled her eyes, already moving towards the Town Hall, still with a death-grip on his arm. “Same difference. You’re both derps.” She said it so fondly, he really couldn’t correct her.

_Good void, could that really be all there is to it? I’ve been acting like a Hermit this whole time? Did Xisuma actually_ **_enjoy_ ** _it, like one of their games? But then why… why would he ban and leave me?_

And could the answer be as simple as chalking it up to yet another derp between them?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Staying with Zedaph, huh. Nothing to do with your fanboy-crush on Wormman?”


	7. Chapter 7

Glaring at his comm wasn’t helping. Neither was trying to ignore the world chat, or the hushed whispers as more Hermits came and went from Zedaph’s cave, talking with Tango and Impulse and occasionally saying hi as they tried not to ask him  _ sensitive _ questions. He still couldn’t decide if they were trying to be nice, or just waiting to blame it all on him. Stars above, he shouldn’t even  _ care _ , but since when did he do what he was  _ supposed _ to?

<EvilXisuma to Xisuma> where are you? your friends are freaking out over here

<EvilXisuma to Xisuma> seriously, did you run away? 

<EvilXisuma to Xisuma> are you ignoring me?

<EvilXisuma to Xisuma> if you want me to leave, just say so

_ Like you should have the last time _ . But he couldn’t put that in a message. Shout it to his face, maybe. Demand an explanation, a fucking  _ reason _ for being banned with no warning, no chance to leave on his own, or make amends for whatever it was that he did. He felt fine now, over whatever sickness he had had. But this uncertainty made his stomach uneasy all over again.

<EvilXisuma to Xisuma> please answer me?

<Xisuma to EvilXisuma> im sorry

<EvilXisuma to Xisuma> for what? leaving? not answering? ignoring your friends?

<EvilXisuma to Xisuma> what the -fuck- X? are you SORRY for?

He was breathing hard, clutching the damned comm hard enough to hurt his hand.  _ How? How does he do this to me? Is he mad at me, or am I supposed to be mad at him?  _

“Argh!” He threw the communicator at the wall and slid off the bed, pulling the blankets back around his shoulders. His helmet was on the chest beside him, just waiting.for him to figure out what he was going to do from here.

_ Go? Stay? Regardless of whether X wants me here or not? Do I start my own world or go wander the public multiverse? _

_ Would they come after me, like they’re trying to do for him? _

His comm dinged again, that quiet little noise of a private message. Evil X sighed, hugging his knees and dropping his forehead against them. “Seriously, what do you want from me?”

“Evil X? You still here?”

He almost missed his little dirt hut. At least he didn’t feel like he was being constantly interrupted there. Okay, it  _ was _ rather lonely when absolutely no one stopped by.

Tango’s wild gold hair peered over the bed, head tilting as he realized where he was.. “Hey, you doing okay?”

“Fine.”

“Uh huh.” Tango climbed over the bed, snagging another blanket and joining him on the floor. “You don’t look ‘fine’. You wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay.” But he didn’t leave, instead making himself comfortable against the wall. Just waited with him, for some reason content to just sit there, even if nothing was said.

Whatever it was, it gave him the courage to crawl over and retrieve his comm, returning to their spot on the wall before opening the screen. And feeling every muscle freeze at what he saw.

He stared at the message.  _ He wouldn’t.. _

“Who has admin access here? Tell me Xisuma wasn’t the only one.” 

Tango stuttered before answering. “Several of us-”

Evil X grabbed him by the collar, pulling Tango close and glaring into his red eyes. “Who. Has access.”

“M-me, Cub, Joe. Couple of us with different talents.”

“Full access?”

Tango shoved him away, sliding back towards the bed. “What the heck? You lookin’ to go back to destroying the server or somethin’?”

“Give me your comm, I need to save your stupid admin before he does something irreversible.” 

“What?”

He shoved his own comm into Tango’s hands, the chat message still on the screen. “Give me your comm.  _ Please _ .” He was not above begging, not for this.

Tango handed it over, taking in the same message he had read. “How does he even think that will work? Can he  _ do _ that?”

“If he’s stupid enough to try, the universe will probably let him.” It was easy enough to insult the derp, instead of worrying just how  _ wrong _ everything could go. If he  _ succeeded _ … “I may just kill him when we get him back, though. Something slow and painful and humiliating.”

The laugh sounded strangled but genuine. “Third tab is what you want. You know the commands?”

“Fuck the commands. I’d drag him here by his hair if I could.”

“He’s got a honey pit in his base.”

Evil X looked up from the red admin panel. “Honey? They finally added the bees?”

Tango’s smile fell for a tick, coming back a little sadder. “Yeah. You’ve uh, missed two, three updates now?”

“Huh.” He turned away, grabbing his helmet and ducking into it, booting it up with the additions he’d just assigned himself. “Tell me how I’m gonna use that to make him pay for the mess he’s putting us through.”

He listened carefully as Tango outlined a nefariously sticky plan, as he coded in his own.

They didn’t have long to wait after that. He felt the pull when it happened, the slightly sinking feeling in his chest that made him want to throw up.

“Here we go.”

Tango sat up from where he had slumped over the notebook, idly doodling dungeon drawings on the paper.

It took more energy than he had expected, teleporting X back to Hermitcraft, using the link he’d created between their files to pull him  _ here _ instead of his intended target. The second teleport was easier, bringing the swaying admin into the cave in front of him. Evil X tackled him, finding no resistance as he unclipped Xisuma’s helmet and tossed it back towards Tango, knocking him over and pinning his arms to his sides as he knelt over his chest.

Xisuma looked exhausted, dark bags under his eyes and limp as a raw fish.

He told him as much. “You look like shit.”

Violet eyes snapped open, holding a mockery of the indignation they usually would for their teasing. “You look like-” And then he stopped, staring at Evil X’s shoulder. At his now-white hair. His eyes clouded over, dulled and filled with...tears?

“That’s all you got? Can’t even complete an insult?”

Void, he really was giving up. “I- I don’t want to.”

He leaned over, trying to make those eyes look at  _ him _ . “‘Don’t want to’  _ what _ , Xisuma? Finish it.” He swore in his head as Xisuma closed his eyes, and particles started gathering around him again.  _ Not the best choice of words there _ .

He almost fumbled the splash potion in his inventory, before smashing it against Xisuma’s chest. He could deal with a couple of seconds of weakness, but Xisuma took the brunt of it and went even paler beneath him, the particles abruptly gone. He had expected a fight, expected X to yell or berate him or try to convince him that what he was doing was the right thing like he always did, but this...this was more pathetic than he usually was.

Well, shit. It was a good thing he  _ knew _ Xisuma, and knew  _ exactly _ which buttons to push to get the results he wanted. He squeezed his eyes tightly, ignoring the little headache that sprang up, but the tears he needed fell and he let his voice quiver in the silence between them.

"Do you really hate me that much?"

Violet eyes met his again, before dropping away, tears already falling and soaking into EX’s gloves. " _ Void _ , no.  _ Never _ . I just-” he nearly choked, and Evil X realized that Xisuma was already crying, trying to hold back sobs. As if he didn’t deserve to cry. “There’s nothing I can say to make up for what I did.”

“How about ‘I’m sorry’.”

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

Of all the- Why. Why did he get stuck with this derp. “You don’t get to decide that.”

The sound that tore from Xisuma’s chest made his own throat hurt. Void below, they were both walking disasters. Evil X rolled to the side, pulling Xisuma along with him until his back rested against the side of the bed and Xisuma was draped over him. He closed his eyes and rested his head back, something easing inside when Xisuma held him tight, and tighter still when Evil X brought his arms up to hold him in place.

A familiar blanket dropped over them with a comfortable weight.

“I’ll leave you to it, call if you need me.” Evil X sighed and nodded, wrinkling his nose as Tango kissed the top of his head. “Take as much time as ya’ need, we’re staying at Impulse’s tonight.”

He was too tired to think too hard about that. “Thank you.” Dark void, why were emotions so draining. He buried his face against Xisuma’s short hair, absently listening to the receding footsteps, and waiting until they were gone to run his hand over Xisuma’s back. The motion was soothing so he kept doing it, letting the long swish of his movement blend in with the quieting sobs against his chest. By the time he realized that Xisuma had cried himself out he was nearly dozing off.

“‘Zuma?”

“It wasn’t on purpose.” The words were whispered into his chest, a broken confession spoken just between them. “It was supposed to be a stupid prank, just for the day. And then I  _ forgot. _ You didn’t deserve that.”

It was all a mistake. Figures. That wasn’t supposed to make  _ him _ cry. Hadn’t he done enough of that already? “I’ll be mad about it later. Too tired now.” Xisuma tried to laugh, shifting to hide the wet sound against Evil X’s chest. “Pretty sure you are, too.” He closed his eyes and relaxed his hold a little. “Tired, I mean.”

Xisuma’s warm breath was slowing down, rhythmically drawing him down into sleep. Except...he frowned against his headrest. Something wasn’t right about that, something he was forgetting…

A hand twisted into the back of his shirt loosened, and fell away. Evil X lifted his head, blinking at the low light in the corner, squeezing Xisuma’s back. Jeez, a perfectly good bed behind them, and here they were nearly asleep on the floor.

‘Pretty sure the bed’s more comfortable.”

Xisuma’s sleepy mumble made absolutely no sense, but the wheeze that followed it did. He squeezed a little harder, running his knuckles along Xisuma’s spine. “Come on, X. I’m not carrying you to bed this time. You still owe me.”

Hazy, unfocused violet eyes finally peeked up at him, almost glowing in the low light. 

_ Void _ , but he never could resist those eyes.

“Bedtime.” He tapped his shoulder. “We can have a screaming match tomorrow if you like, but I’m done in.” Evil X twisted his head to look at the bed behind them. Xisuma’s helmet sat helpfully on top of the mattress.  _ Oh yeah, that. _ He pushed harder at X, almost knocking him to the floor. “Put your helmet on and get on the bed. We’re not sleeping on the floor, ya derp.”

Xisuma made it to his knees, reaching over for the helmet and relatching it into place. He offered his hand to Evil X, tugged them both up when he accepted it, and then accepted his helmet as well.

“Where did you go, anyway?”

Xisuma pulled the blankets back, not meeting his eyes. “It doesn’t matter now. I can show you tomorrow.”

He couldn’t keep it from coming out. “I’ll still be here tomorrow?”

“EX, I’m so sorry.” He rested his helmet against Xisuma’s as he was pulled back into a hug. “I promise, no more bans.” Xisuma may have had something more to say, but he yawned instead, helmet falling to Evil X’s shoulder.

Derp.

“I’ll accept your apology tomorrow, then. Sleep now.”

It was so easy to fall into the bed, pull the covers up and pretend that nothing had changed between them. Until Xisuma pulled him close like he hadn’t in ages, tucking Evil X’s helmet beneath his, a hand settled in the center of his back, holding him in place where EX could listen to his heartbeat. So he ignored the stupid wetness on his face, and let the echo of a twin heartbeat pull him into dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I lied. One more chapter for fluff, and because of a tumblr comment/headcanon I've adopted.  
> Dear void, I love these two derps. ^__^


	8. Epilogue

Xisuma teleported them both to the world spawn, letting Evil X have a look around uninterrupted. It wasn’t much, his first world. But it held a lot of memories, things that were important to him.

And moreso, now.

“So this is where you hid? Not really up to your current standards, is it?”

Xisuma sighed, but bumped his shoulder anyway. “Yes, this is where I ran away. I-” he ducked his head, trying to hide his embarrassed flush. “I haven’t been back here in years. Mostly forgot about it.”

“Okay. Gonna show me around?”

“In a minute. Wanted to show you something, first.” Xisuma twisted his wrist, summoning an admin screen and tabbing over to the player list. Both of their names were listed, along with their op levels.

“You’re...trusting me with full access?”

Xisuma nodded. “And offering to help you create a new world for yourself, or find one you like. If you want.”

“I’ll still be welcome at Hermitcraft?”

The glowing panel disappeared as Xisuma tugged him into another hug. “Of course. It’s your choice where you’d like to stay, but I want you to  _ have _ that choice. I should have done this a long time ago.”

It was Evil X’s turn to duck his head. “I don’t think I would have appreciated it. At least, not before the Evil Voice went away.”

“But I should have done it, regardless. You deserve to have your own place, your own world to create or destroy as you like.” His voice turned teasing again. “Or to play with creative mode, since I’m not letting you keep that on Hermitcraft.”

Evil X headbutted him. “Aww, but I wanted my lightning back.”

“How about you learn to control it, first. We can set aside some time when you’re ready, and I’ll teach you about some of the admin work. Control and commands, and how to read world files.” Xisuma thought about it for a couple of ticks, looking out again over the partially built treehouse. “Or you can ask Tango or Joe, if you’d prefer.”

Evil X looked at him sideways through the grey visor. “You know I’ve watched you for years. I know my way around most of your admin-y stuff.”

“And yet you’re a complete noob sometimes when it comes to just playing the game.”

“Not everyone needs ridiculous buildings and farms for everything.” He wasn’t going to admit to being jealous of those things anyway. “I’d rather go exploring and fighting mobs. It’s what I’m good at.”

Xisuma smiled at him, hearing what he didn’t say. “You can do whatever you like. And many of the Hermits would be happy to share their skills with you.”

“Whatever.”

Xisuma just chuckled. “Up to you. So, do you want the tour, or want to start a fresh world?”

He didn’t have to think about it. “Show me around your place first.”

  
  


\--Several days later--

He looked out at the stomping bootsteps coming out of his jungle portal. Evil X had made it down to the stairs before sitting down heavily, tearing several arrows out of his shoulder before tossing back a potion.

He coasted down from his storage tower, landing lightly on the quartz walkway, giving EX the opportunity to notice him and tell him to bug off if he wasn't in the mood-

"What in the  _ void _ happened to the pigmen? And why are the fleshy ones so cranky?"

That brought him up short. "The fleshy on- oh. Oh." Well this wasn't what he had expected. "Um, has anyone gone over all of the new changes with you yet? From the last update?" He took a seat on the steps as well, setting down his ender chest and rummaging for a shulker box.

"New biomes, new plants, ghasts are annoying, something about trading, blah blah." Evil X waved a gloved hand absently, paying more attention to the boxes he was checking than answering him.

"Right. And with that came the precursors to the zombie pigmen. Piglins, now." He tossed a pair of gold boots and a gold helmet at his clone. "Most of 'em carry crossbows, and they're possessive of anything gold or chests within their range."

"Okay, then why are you giving me gold armour? So they attack me quicker?"

"Quite the opposite actually. They won't attack if you're wearing gold armour. Just one piece will do, so it's your choice which you'd like. Piglins will trade a selection of items if you toss them gold ingots, but they'll attack regardless of your armour if you  _ mine _ gold around them. Or open or break a chest, which we've found includes both enderchests and shulker boxes, annoyingly enough."

Evil X pulled on the gold boots before taking them off again, replacing them with diamond. "Well that explains them firing on me. But not the insults that came after.”

He blinked at his clone, shocked to stillness. “You...still speak pigmen?”

The gold helmet looked a little odd over the grey visor. “I spent two years trapped there--yeah, yeah, I did that to myself, whatever.” He pulled the helmet off too, turning it over in his hands. “The zombie pigmen were better company than the stupid wither skeletons. And you really couldn’t keep them out of the fortresses, they were  _ everywhere _ .” Evil X made a surprisingly accurate throat grumble, startling both Xisuma and the zombie piglin that had appeared in the hexagon portal.

It grunted back, and he found himself grinning at the little grumbly conversation that Evil X seemed to carry on with it. He tried to hide it when EX turned back with a huff, done with the zombied mob as it walked away.

Evil X was scowling behind his visor, eyes narrowed and rebreather pushed up from the face he was making. “Well that’s gonna be a pain. Bet you never had to deal with Galactic changing because of a new mob.”

He chuckled. “Considering most players don’t speak it, and endermen haven’t changed since 1.0, no, I haven’t. And I told you that it’s used more as a written language anyway.” His curiosity got the better of him. “Did it tell you what the problem was?”

Evil X pushed up from the stairs, stealing rockets from the side of his portal and checking his elytra before answering. “Said the fleshies still have lips and full snouts. And they’re conceited.”

“Oh, my.” Well that was interesting; the notion that one mob would think the other was stuck up. Though that could explain the occasional in-fighting, he supposed. “Jeez, in that case I’m surprised you didn’t get along with them better.”

Evil X rolled his eyes and repeated something Xisuma had taught him years ago. “I didn’t forget  _ that _ , either.” And then he was rocketing off towards Keralis’ base, probably in search of a couple of books to trade for, since he hoarded the few diamonds he had..

Xisuma let himself laugh as he returned to his base, pleased that Evil X had even remembered the phrase in Galactic that he’d taught him...even if he had spat it like a curse.

Maybe he’d give it another year or two before letting him know it meant “thank you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to hermitcraftheadcanons and shadeswift99 on tumblr for the end prompt. The idea was just too good to leave out! ^__^

**Author's Note:**

> Hauntober? Spooktober? Whumptober? Good grief, have some angsty h/c fic instead.


End file.
